More Tails of Hobo - the Littlest (and only!) MUD dog

A heretical piece of fiction by Crazyfool, virtually guaranteed to attract undue attention from that pooch loving Arch, Richard

Benny moved in on Hobo slowly. Hobo began to edge away towards a sheer cliff face. What would a worse? Spending eternity as Benny's bitch or to risk a long fall?

As Hobo fell he noticed a small ledge and before he knew it, he landed head first into a large thorn bush. He promptly stood up and looked around. To his horror, he noticed a short dark lady, covered in dark makeup.

"Hello Hobo. My name is Serenety. I am the dark witch of this land. What is your quest my friend?"

Hobo sat and thought. It had seemed such a long time since leaving Reverence with Benny. All he could think of was 'lazy stoned students who can't be bothered to write'. Suddenly he remembered.

"I must go to the castle of Bartle and dance for him. I don't remember why or how but I must".

Serenety stared at him intently and noticed that he had lost all his kit. She went into her bag and removed a sampan filled with goodies.

"Take this my friend and if you see Crazyfool, tell him he owes me child support"

Hobo looked confused as he took the sampan. He glanced around for a child and noticed a small baby with a mohican modifying a toy van. Hobo noticed the sampan contained a few 'Cradle of Filth' CDs, a few wafers and a longsword.

"Thank you Serenety. May the power of dogs be with you."

Hobo quickly ventured along a rocky path up towards the castle of Bartle. He wasn't travelling for long when he came across a group of goblins torturing a male adventurer. Hobo instinctively killed the goblins and released the male adventurer.

"Ta very much. My name is Seamus and I am the greatest bard in all The Land. And who would you be my canine friend?"

Hobo stared at the strange looking man and noticed he was wearing a kilt.

"Sorry. I don't talk to Tvs."

Hobo turned and walked away up the road. He was becoming weary and wondered why he had even left the evil wood. In fact he would have turned back then if he hadn't have heard the faint hint of music. As he got closer, he saw a dark cave and the music of 'The Smiths' bellowing out. Peering in he saw a tall, dark stranger huddled in the corner. His long black hair and baggy black cloak blending in with the darkness of the wall. Hobo felt his soul being ripped apart by the depressing music and thought he would die until the stranger turned it off.

"Thank you. Who are you?" Hobo asked.

"My name is Crazyfool. I was once a great player and a husband but now I sit here and hide.

"What happened?"

Crazyfool looked downcast and said:
"I was fighting fit and looking to wiz but then I started smoking all this weed. Now all I do is read politics books and think about how bad things are. Oh god I'm miserable now."

The pathetic manic-depressive sight in front of him disgusted Hobo.

"What about Serenety?"

"Ahh yes, the love of my life. I couldn't handle it. I kept losing jobs. as glass collector at the Inn or as a cleaner at the Keep. Damn. I don't believe the wyvern could reach that far. Poor Droo."

Hobo looked worried. Suddenly the cave became darker with a shadow. Seamus stood menacingly at the opening of the cave.

"I'm no girl you know. We Scotsman have our pride and now you will die."

Seamus brought out a large axe from under his tartan skirt and began to advance on Hobo.

"Ahh crap," said Crazyfool ...